You said I was brave once, you told me I was bright.

These days my stomach is too big for the fight.

I’m the coward that I always was I tell you it’s true,

It’s just that I can’t run as fast as I used to.

Where have you gone, where’s your hat and coat?

Have you gone away on a plane or a boat?

A sea of whiskey keeping me afloat.

I’ll be your TV dear, you’re the remote.

You say that you know me, walked a mile in my shoes

They pinched at the heels but it helped you to choose.

You say that you’re walking out, got nothing to lose

So I sit alone now, bare-foot and confused.

Where have you gone, where’s your hat and coat?

Have you gone away on a plane or a boat?

A sea of whiskey keeping me afloat.

I’ll be your TV dear, you’re the remote.

I lie in my hallway I’m filled up with booze.

There’s a re-run of Bilko on after the news.

I’m a well travelled man but I can’t find the door,

Can’t even remember what I came down here for.

Where have you gone, where’s your hat and coat?

Have you gone away on a plane or a boat?

A sea of whiskey keeping me afloat.

I’ll be your TV dear, you’re the remote.

Where have you gone, where’s your hat and coat?

Have you gone away on a plane or a boat?

A sea of whiskey keeping me afloat.

I’ll be your TV dear, you’re the remote.

(lyrics by Vin Murtagh ©2010)